Clarification

[xp_changeling]

Now that even the kids are confused, I'm going to explain once.

During a mission two days ago, I was exposed to an EM field. On top of a rather nasty shock it also scrambled my powers so badly that it knocked them off-line for the next few days. As a defense mechanism, my body shifted to what I call my primary alternative form. Until the effects wear off, I'm powerless and cannot revert back to my normal body.

Yes, I am currently the strange redheaded woman seen in the halls. I'm still me, obviously, just packaged a little different. If the juxtaposition is too odd, for now, you can all me Nora if you need. That was the name of the friend this body is based off of.

In order to avoid more of... well, all of this, for one day only, I will answer any questions about shapeshifting, living in other forms, and whatever you want to ask. In return, everyone comes to terms with the fact that sometimes I'm other people for awhile. Deal?

Comments

[xp_changeling]

If you ask me something clearly not appropriate or deliberately offensive in a public setting, I will ridicule you. Heartily. Usually involved your physical appearance, the dubious nature of your parents marital status when you were conceived and very possibly something about your mother's weight or her work as a sex worker.

[xp_wallflower]

Given that you are currently mentoring my girlfriend, asking anything particularly offensive would be a bad calculation on my part, don’t you think?

Is your stipulation merely about the public forum or is it that you do not wish any extremely probing questions at all?

I can contain my scientific and medical curiosity if it would be unwelcome, obviously.

[xp_changeling]

Life involves risk, Collins. Ask your questions or don't. Just expect consequences if you guess wrong.

[xp_wallflower]

Fascinating. Do you often make small talk into a challenge?

My initial question was merely if you could make extra organs that are stable when removed.

[xp_changeling]

Constantly. For five decades my job is to push people to find their weaknesses and exploit them. But if that makes you uncomfortable, I can do a little hambone as a soothing distraction.

No. Parts taken off me degrade quickly.

[xp_wallflower]

Pity. It might have resolved an issue I have if I’d been able to borrow a limb that you could grow back. Had you been willing, obviously.

What is hambone?

[xp_changeling]

It's the bone. From a ham.

[xp_wallflower]

Well, that’s one definition. Google apparently disagrees with you.

For a moment there I thought perhaps you were propositioning me. Which would certainly have been an interesting change.

[xp_changeling]

I prefer my relationships transactional.

[xp_wallflower]

Pity.

So just how far have you challenged your powers? I would imagine that they were certainly curious when you first manifested.

[xp_changeling]

I fully manifested when I was bundled up in chicken wire at the bottom of Chesapeake Bay. Where I stayed for almost ten years alternately drowning, coming back to life with less and less of my brain intact, and then drowning again.

[xp_wallflower]

My apologies, I did not mean to bring up those sort of memories.

I was once tortured to the point I could not tell reality from pain. It was not pleasant, I could not imagine what ten years of such a thing might do to me.

You have a strong mind, but I already knew that.

[xp_changeling]

Did I tell you I needed an apology? Or your validation?

You think that was the worst I've gone through? Kid, relax. I've been around a long time in a job that you have no idea what it entails. Your girlfriend is learning what this world involved, and frankly, no outsider can ever really understand it.

[xp_wallflower]

No, but I am told displaying empathy is an agreeable trait in these things. I will make a note that you do not need such things for the future.

I’ve been friendly with several members of your team for a time. I’m aware of the things I will not understand. I have no issue with that.

[xp_changeling]

You're not displaying empathy. You're acting on it. I don't need that. Be the sociopath you are naturally.

[xp_wallflower]

Wouldn’t that be considered rude?

Besides, I would need a clinical diagnosis of sociopathy, otherwise it would merely be me watching too much Dexter, would it not?

[xp_changeling]

No idea who Dexter is, but I can sense a broken person at fifty feet. No need to hide for me.

[xp_tarot]

The next time I ask you to take care of a problem in Chesapeake Bay, tell me no.

[xp_changeling]

If it was a problem, I'd tell you. I'm not a delicate flower. I've come to terms with what I went through. I don't need anyone deciding to joyride with me on.

[xp_tarot]

I am well aware you can handle it. Regardless, I am certain there is some kind of etiquette that says that asking you that particular favour is rude .

[xp_changeling]

You just trapped yourself to paying for drinks and dinner tomorrow. I'll send you the restaurant reservation in a few.

[xp_tarot]

What a horrible fate. I am certainly discouraged from inadvertent tackiness in the future.

[xp_darcy]

This story is no better the second time around. You are getting so many hugs.

[xp_changeling]

I dealt with it a long time ago, Lewis. I'm fine.

[xp_darcy]

I would never suggest otherwise, Boss. Doesn't mean you aren't getting put on a hug regimen.